Mindfulness and Social Anxiety

If you struggle with social anxiety, you likely know how easy it is to get lost in the noise and self-chatter in your own head. Instead of focusing on the person in front of you, you might agonise about how you are feeling, what to say next, or how you may be appearing to others.

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It involves becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they arise without getting caught up in their nature or complexity.

Please note mindfulness is not recommended by NICE guidelines as a therapy in itself but many of the skills can help in making progress.

What is mindfulness in the context of social anxiety?

Essentially, mindfulness is a practice that brings you fully into the present moment, in full acceptance. If you’re mindful, you’re not thinking about the past or the future. You are not getting caught up in your thoughts or judging your experiences (or anxiety). It can be way of really “being” in social situations – where you focus on the situation and people, the task at hand.

Mindfulness can create a sense of space that detaches you from the rush of social anxiety thoughts and feelings. You allow the thoughts to “pass through” and thus enable you to shift your attention back to the present moment.

What are the benefits of mindfulness?

• An increase in self-compassion – without judging yourself for the thoughts and feelings you feel
• Less anxiety – as you learn acceptance
• More able to fully engage with the situation, people or conversation at hand

How do you start with mindfulness?

There are several different ways to practice when you first begin including many smart phone apps and videos on Youtube. The starting point is often peaceful, safe, easy to practice situations e.g.
• resting while listening to beginners mindfulness audio or youtube video
• if you’re going for a walk – pay attention to the wind on your face, the smells around you, and give your entire focus to the good things happening around you.
• if you have a cup of tea, try drinking it mindfully. Focus on the present moment by savouring each sip, paying attention to the sensory details, and acknowledging your thoughts without judgment. This involves engaging all your senses, sounds, sights, smells, the warmth and taste of the tea as you drink it.

For more ideas, check out: www.mind.org.uk – mindfulness exercises tips

You can also establish a more formal mindfulness practice through yoga or meditation. There are many available resources on YouTube or smart phone apps that can support you.

How do you practise mindfulness when in a social situation?

When you are in social situation that is hard for you, first notice what’s going in your body – are you feeling anxious, hot, tense? If so – where exactly? Observe your thoughts without judgement, are they slow or rushed, helpful or critical, does part of you feel like running away? Allow the thoughts to just “be”, acknowledge them but don’t fight them. Instead, let them pass thought your mind as you deliberately choose to re-engage and re-focus on the people or situation at hand.

The idea is to stay totally present in the situation without judging the other people, yourself, your anxiety or your responses.

By letting the anxious thoughts and feelings pass there is more time and space to develop a curiosity about the practicalities of the present moment. What are people actually saying, wearing, do they look tired or energetic? What jewellery or hairstyle do they have? What can you say to show you are interested and ready to take part? If you have food or drink with you, take time to enjoy the flavour and sensations. As you shift you shift from internal to external focus your anxiety should begin to diminish.

Conclusion
It may take time to learn the skill and can be difficult when you are experiencing anxious feelings. However as you practice mindfulness it can be another valuable tool in your mental health toolbox.

A dedicated mindfulness practice is not necessarily for everyone, but most people can benefit from being more mindful and present in their day-to-day lives.

Please also see our page on focus of attention