What is the fight-or-flight response?
The “fight-or-flight” response is your body’s automatic alarm system. When your brain senses a threat, even a social one, like feeling judged or watched, it activates the nervous system that prepares the body to either fight, run away or freeze. This happens automatically – you’re not choosing it to happen.
Why your body does this?
These responses evolved to keep us safe in threatening situations. For example, a fast stress response could save your life if you met a real danger such as a tiger was chasing you. While modern life means danger from tigers is gone, the brain can still trigger very similar stress responses to any perceived danger e.g. speaking up in groups or being with other people in situations you find socially difficult.
What happens in your body and mind
When your anxiety response is triggered, your body releases stress hormones (including those such as adrenaline and cortisol). You might notice some of these:
- your heart racing, your breathing speeds up
- your hands trembling or muscles tighten
- you begin sweating or blushing
- a rush of worried or panicky thoughts
- brain fog, unresponsiveness, or freezing
- the urge to escape
What keeps the spiral going?
If you have social anxiety, the reactions listed above can be strong and feel out of proportion to the situation. Paying attention to your internal anxiety often creates more anxious thoughts, a self-perpetuating spiral where the fear of the symptoms makes the symptoms worse.
Also, when you’re scared of looking anxious, you may spend lots of mental energy trying to hide it. That hyper-focus on how you may appear to others feeds the alarm system and makes it harder to think clearly or be yourself. Without learning new ways to cope, the sensations persist and the situation starts to feel impossible.
What helps — the useful, practical things you can try now
- Focus outward not inward. Instead of battling your symptoms, focus completely on what you’re trying to do in that moment (e.g. on the people, conversation or task at hand). See Focus of Attention
- Acceptance. Trying to “fight” the anxiety usually makes it worse. Having these socially anxious thoughts and feelings are a difficult and uncomfortable part of the condition. Battling them can be counter-productive. Accepting that they are there – for now – whilst focussing outward and learning new ways of thinking and behaving, can all help the anxiety lessen over time. See fight or flight and mindfulness
- Breathing techniques
Some people find breathing techniques helpful – such as those listed at www.itsjustafeeling.co.uk – Calm anxiety by learning to breathe from your Diaphragm or www.verywellmind.com – Breathing techniques for anxiety. - Grounding techniques.
See our article at grounding techniques to help calm yourself in situ/. - Keep a diary or worksheet. Write down situations that triggered you and what happened. This can help you (and your therapist if you have one) better understand your triggers and patterns of response. See the worksheet at My-Social-Anxiety-Symptoms-Overview.pdf
Why seeking support matters
Social anxiety is common, and it’s treatable. Therapy (especially CBT) can help you change your response to the fight-or-flight anxiety cycle, so the body alarm system becomes less frequent and less intense.
Clinically reviewed by Dr Tasha Malcolm, MRCGP, Clinical Advisor
Useful links
