What is the fight-or-flight response?
The “fight-or-flight” response is your body’s automatic alarm system. When your brain senses a threat, even a social one, like being judged or watched, it activates the nervous system that prepares the body to either fight, run away or freeze. This happens automatically – you’re not choosing it to happen.
Why your body does this?
These responses evolved to keep us safe in threatening situations. For example, a fast stress response could save your life if you met a real danger such as if a tiger was chasing you. Whilst modern life means danger from tigers is gone, the brain may still trigger similar responses to any perceived danger, such as speaking up in groups or being with others in situations you find difficult.
What happens in your body and mind
When our anxiety response is triggered, our body releases stress hormones (including those such as adrenaline, cortisol). You might notice:
- Your heart racing, your breathing speeds up
- Your hands trembling or muscles tighten
- You begin sweating or blushing
- a rush of worried or panicky thoughts
- the urge to escape
What keeps the spiral going?
If you have social anxiety, the reactions listed above can be strong and feel out of proportion to the situation. Paying attention to your internal anxiety often creates more anxious thoughts, a loop where the fear of the symptoms makes the symptoms worse.
Also, when you’re scared of looking anxious, you may spend lots of mental energy trying to hide it. That hyper-focus on how you may appear to others feeds the alarm system and makes it harder to think clearly or be yourself. Without learning new ways to cope, the sensations persist and the situation starts to feel impossible.
What helps — the useful, practical things you can try now
Learning to accept that your body is doing what it’s designed to do (even if it’s annoying) can reduce the pressure. Trying to “fight” the anxiety usually makes it worse, therefore shifting your attention to practical steps is more helpful.
Some quick wins you can try:
- Breathing techniques
Some people find breathing techniques helpful – such as those listed at www.itsjustafeeling.co.uk – Calm anxiety by learning to breathe from your Diaphragm or www.verywellmind.com – Breathing techniques for anxiety. - Grounding techniques.
See the article at https://socialanxietyalliance.org.uk/grounding-techniques-to-help-calm-yourself-in-situ/? - Keep a diary or worksheet. Write down situations that triggered you and what happened. This can help you (and your therapist if you have one) better understand your triggers and patterns of response. See My-Social-Anxiety-Symptoms-Overview.pdf
- Focus on the task, not the feeling. Instead of battling your symptoms, focus completely on what you’re trying to do in that moment (e.g. on the people, conversation or task at hand). See Focus of Attention
Why seeking support matters
Social anxiety is common, and it’s treatable. Therapy (especially CBT) can help you change your response to the flight of flight anxiety cycle, so the body alarm system becomes less frequent and less intense.
Clinically reviewed by Dr Tasha Malcolm, MRCGP, Clinical Advisor
Useful links
