Mindfulness and Social Anxiety

If you struggle with social anxiety, you likely know how easy it is to get lost in the noise and self-chatter in your own head. Instead of focusing on the person in front of you, or the task at hand, you might agonise about what people may be thinking about you, what to say next, or how you may be appearing to others.

Mindfulness is the practice of observing thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and external events without judgement. It involves becoming aware of your thoughts as they arise without getting caught up in their nature or complexity. Mindfulness also involves being able to switch attention between different aspects of experience, rather than feeling that your focus of attention is ‘stuck’.

Please note mindfulness is not recommended by NICE guidelines as a therapy in itself but some of the techniques may still help some people in making progress.

What is mindfulness in the context of social anxiety?

Essentially, mindfulness is a practice that brings you fully into the present moment, in full acceptance. If you’re mindful, you’re not thinking about the past or the future. You are not getting caught up in your thoughts or judging your experiences (or anxiety). It can be a way of really “being” in social situations – allowing you to focus on the situation and people, the task at hand.

Mindfulness can create a sense of space that detaches you from the rush of social anxiety thoughts and feelings. You notice them and allow them to “pass through”, whilst you choose to direct your attention back to the practicalities of the present moment. Please also see our page on focus of attention.

Core elements of mindfulness

• Becoming the observer: You learn to shift your sense of self from being the “thinker” of the thoughts to being the “witness” or “observer” of them. Rather than identifying with the thoughts or trying to forcefully push them away, you observe them impartially, like watching clouds float across the sky or leaves drift down a stream. Instead of getting caught up in negative thoughts like “I am sure people don’t like me” or “I need these thoughts to stop right now”, you simply observe them as thoughts, “I’m noticing some negative thoughts coming up about my self-worth or what others may be thinking”

• Acceptance – you notice anxiety or negative thoughts but accept them without judgement or reaction

• Self-compassion – rather than beating yourself up for feeling anxious, you learn to treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a struggling friend

• Switching focus of attention – rather than becoming stuck in negative self-focus or hypervigilance, mindfulness involves learning to acknowledge your thoughts but still be able to switch your focus of attention

Mindfulness when alone

There are several different ways to practice when you first begin to explore mindfulness, including many smart phone apps and videos on YouTube. The starting point is often peaceful, safe, uncomplicated situations e.g.
• Resting at home while listening to beginners’ mindfulness audio or YouTube videos
• Practice moving your attention slowly through your body. You can start by paying attention to the sensations in your toes and moving your focus upwards through your body until you reach the top of your head.
• if you’re going for a walk – pay attention to the wind on your face, the touch of your feet on the ground, the sounds and smells around you. Try and give your entire focus to the positives of the situation.
• If you have a drink or food, try consuming them mindfully. Focus on the present moment by savouring each sip or bite, paying attention to the sensory details, warmth, texture, smell, taste.
• Allow your thoughts to pass through, develop the sense that you can be an observer of your thoughts as they pass – rather than lost in their detail and content.

For more ideas, check out: www.mind.org.uk – mindfulness exercises tips

You can also establish a more formal mindfulness practice through yoga or meditation. There are many available resources on YouTube or smartphone apps that can support you.

How do you practise mindfulness when in a social situation?

When you are in a social situation that is hard for you, first notice what’s going on in your body – are you feeling anxious, hot, tense? If so – where exactly? Observe your thoughts without judgement, are they slow or rushed, helpful or critical, does part of you feel like running away? Allow the thoughts to just “be”, acknowledge and label them, but don’t fight them. Instead, let them pass thought your mind as you deliberately choose to re-engage and re-focus on the people or situation at hand.

The idea is to stay totally present in the situation without judging the other people, yourself, your anxiety or your responses.

By letting the anxious thoughts and feelings pass, there is more time and space to develop a curiosity about the practicalities of the present moment. What are people actually saying, wearing, do they look tired or energetic? What jewellery or hairstyle do they have? What can you say to show you are interested and ready to take part?

Conclusion

It may take time to learn the skill and can be difficult when you are experiencing anxious feelings. However, as you practice mindfulness, it can be another valuable tool in your mental health toolbox.

A dedicated mindfulness practice is not necessarily for everyone, but many people can benefit from being more mindful and present in their day-to-day lives.

Please also see our page on focus of attention