If you struggle with social anxiety, you likely know how easy it is to get lost in the noise and self-chatter in your own head. Instead of focusing on the person in front of you, or the task at hand, you might agonise about what people may be thinking about you, what to say next, or how you may be appearing to others.
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It involves becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations as they arise without getting caught up in their nature or complexity.
Please note mindfulness is not recommended by NICE guidelines as a therapy in itself but some of the techniques may help in making progress.
What is mindfulness in the context of social anxiety?
Essentially, mindfulness is a practice that brings you fully into the present moment, in full acceptance. If you’re mindful, you’re not thinking about the past or the future. You are not getting caught up in your thoughts or judging your experiences (or anxiety). It can be way of really “being” in social situations – where you focus on the situation and people, the task at hand.
Mindfulness can create a sense of space that detaches you from the rush of social anxiety thoughts and feelings. You allow them to “pass through” whilst you shift your attention back to the practicalities of the present moment – focus outward not inward. Please also see our page on Focus of attention.
Core elements of mindfulness
Mindfulness when alone
There are several different ways to practice when you first begin including many smart phone apps and videos on YouTube. The starting point is often peaceful, safe, uncomplicated situations e.g.
• resting at home while listening to beginners mindfulness audio or YouTube videos
• if you’re going for a walk – pay attention to the wind on your face, the touch of your feet on the ground, the sounds and smells around you. Try and give your entire focus to the positives of the situation.
• if you have a drink or food, try consuming them mindfully. Focus on the present moment by savouring each sip or bite, paying attention to the sensory details, warmth, texture, smell, taste. Acknowledge your thoughts without judgment.
For more ideas, check out: www.mind.org.uk – mindfulness exercises tips
You can also establish a more formal mindfulness practice through yoga or meditation. There are many available resources on YouTube or smart phone apps that can support you.
How do you practise mindfulness when in a social situation?
When you are in social situation that is hard for you, first notice what’s going in your body – are you feeling anxious, hot, tense? If so – where exactly? Observe your thoughts without judgement, are they slow or rushed, helpful or critical, does part of you feel like running away? Allow the thoughts to just “be”, acknowledge them but don’t fight them. Instead, let them pass thought your mind as you deliberately choose to re-engage and re-focus on the people or situation at hand.
The idea is to stay totally present in the situation without judging the other people, yourself, your anxiety or your responses.
By letting the anxious thoughts and feelings pass there is more time and space to develop a curiosity about the practicalities of the present moment. What are people actually saying, wearing, do they look tired or energetic? What jewellery or hairstyle do they have? What can you say to show you are interested and ready to take part? If you have food or drink with you, take time to enjoy the flavour and sensations. As you shift you shift from internal to external focus your anxiety should begin to diminish.
Conclusion
It may take time to learn the skill and can be difficult when you are experiencing anxious feelings. However, as you practice mindfulness it can be another valuable tool in your mental health toolbox.
A dedicated mindfulness practice is not necessarily for everyone, but many people can benefit from being more mindful and present in their day-to-day lives.
Please also see our page on focus of attention
Please also see these links to other websites:
Video from Private Therapy Clinic about Mindfulness and SA
www.anxietyuk.org.uk – mindfulness
www.choosingtherapy.com – mindfulness for anxiety
www.healthline.com – 12 benefits of meditation
www.meditofoundation.org – Meditation for stress and anxiety
www.mind.org.uk – about mindfulness
www.mind.org.uk – mindfulness exercises tips
www.mindful.org – how to manage stress with mindfulness and meditation
